3 Things a Dog Might Construe as Romantic

Rogers Cable Rotissaire Chicken Channel

An anamatronic Tigger's beckoning call, "I'm gonna bounce!"

Lipstick.

Happy leap day, one and all!

Humphrey contemplates the economy...again

Humphrey was thinking about people we remember - sometimes for good things, sometimes for not-so-good things.

Humphrey in a patch of forget-me-nots the year he moved to Willowdale

His recent concern with all things economic (especially in light of skyrocketing oil prices, and now the threat of a Toronto tax again!) got him thinking about people who are remembered for their effects on the economy.

He has, not surprisingly, a list of top three people who really did a number on financial things!

There's Steve Perkins, a 34-year-old American oil trader who decided to go to work at PVM Oil after a three-day bender at a company retreat. It was June 30, 2009, and he was completely wasted. He bought 7 million barrels of crude oil without authoriziation, and caused the price to rise by $1.50 per barrel in less than half an hour - something that usually only happens during global catastrophes. He lost his company nearly $10 million, and needless to day messed up markets. Not to worry - he managed to get himself a new job with a brokerage firm in Switzerland within a few days.

Then there's David Li, a mathematician who was a contender for a Nobel Prize for his Gaussian copula function - a mathematical formula that allowed the financial industry to (supposedly) better predict risks. Wall Street jumped on this to sell all sorts of securities and expand markets. It worked for a while - but it had some major flaws. Li's formula was instrumental to the 2008 financial meltdown! In fairness, Li publicly stated in 2005 that few understood the complexities - but they used it anyway.

Finally, there's celebrity billionaire George Soros (the Euro zone's answer to "the Donald"), who managed to cause the British sterling pound to lose one-quarter of its value by short-selling it - that day, September 16, 1992, is known as Black Wednesday. He personally made $1.1 billion, so it wasn't all bad for everyone.

Bone Appetit!

When Humphrey came to Willowdale, he had a lot of food intolerances. In fact, he was a vegetarian! After months of trial and error (more error than you can imagine!) Humph’s guardian and her vet decided to construct a home-cooked diet for him. They relied on all kinds of nutritional charts, and had to work around what was a very limited range of ingredients (strawberries, spinach, sweet potatoes, yogurt, milk, and fish). Over time, Humphrey’s range of food tolerance increased, but he continues to be on a home cooked diet. And, much to his delight, his pack eats dog food! That’s right! Seared salmon, turkey scallopini, kale, spinach, brown rice, and potatoes! Can you imagine?
                                
Along the way, Humphrey learned that pet food is big business. In 2011, sales of pet food and pet snacks were $16.2 billion in the United States alone! That’s a lot of kibble! The pet food market worldwide is expected to reach US$56.4 billion by 2015. So, in keeping with a corporate sensibility, Humphrey assembled his own illustrated cook book, Who’s That Wiggling in My Kitchen? Humphrey invites you to preview his book:

Who's that wiggling in my kitchen? |

Family Day/Humphri Gras Celebrations

The sun was out in full force as Humphrey made his way through Willowdale on his morning walk. Something special was in the air....it was not just Family Day, but Humprhi Gras weekend! A cajun celebration to comemorate Humphrey's arrival in Willowdale. Five whole years here!

Humphrey enjoyed some very impressive day trips with his pack on the weekend, and a meal of cod po' boys and dirty-rice-stuffed green peppers. He hopes all his dog friends had as joyful a celebration.

Dog Fashion and Consumerism

Humphrey in his favorite wool coat from the now-defunct Tabi

A strange thing happened over the past decade. Fashion, once exclusively human terrain, has extended to the animal kingdom. Dog fashion has become an entire industry, feeding a culture of consumption. A proliferation of dog “lifestyle” magazines such as The Bark and Modern Dog feature glossy pages and fashion shoots in each issue. Whereas pet stores used to be utilitarian in nature, selling kibble, bones and toys, now entire shops devoted to “wants” (not needs) exist. Los Angeles-based Fifi and Romeo is one of the more impressive retailers, having branched out internationally. Fashion designers and labels ranging from Vivienne Westwood, to Coach, to Burberry, to Isaac Mizrahi design for dogs, costing hundreds and even thousands of dollars per item. Not one to miss out on a viable trend, Martha Stewart partnered with PetSmart to create a line of decidedly down-market dog products (including clothing), and Isaac Mizrahi did the same for Target.

Humphrey is simultaneously fascinated and repulsed by dog fashion. Back in the day, long before Humphrey was born, mass market retailers only carried simple leather and monochromatic nylon collars and leads. But today, the choices are seemingly limitless!

The proliferation of dog fashion begs an important question: why would anybody care what their dog wears? How is it possible for an entire industry of luxury pet clothing to exist? This all has to do with how people’s relationships to and with dogs have changed. Pets, Dr. Heidi Nast of DePaul University explains, invoke a new kind of “love” in society – one that is narcissistic and feeds into consumerism. The relationship is in part ownership and commodity. Nast describes this as nested levels of fetishism – people buy a dog, then buy lots and lots of accoutrements they believe best serve that dog in their own image while continuing a perverse entanglement in consumer culture.

All that consumption adds up. The American Pet Products Manufacturers Association (APPMA) proudly boasts that in 2007, American pet owners spent $ 41.2 billion on their animals, up 7% from the previous year. Quite astoundingly, during the 2008 financial meltdown, food and pet supplies were the only two categories out of 17 that showed significant spending increases (WSL Strategic Research Survey). Perhaps it comes as no surprise that 52% of pet owners in the APPMA survey said they would reduce spending on themselves to maintain spending on their pets.

This sweater keeps Humphrey warm and dry on a day like today.

Of course, pets have always required some accessories. Few would challenge the a city dog’s need of a collar and lead, and maybe even some protective winter clothing for harsh Canadian winters, depending on the breed. These are utilitarian items. But the options are no longer strictly utilitarian. A $78 Coach collar. A $40 Ralph Lauren Polo. Or even a wide assortment of dresses (yes, dresses) with no purpose other than promoting dogs’ gendered appearance. That’s the thing: increasingly people dress their dogs purely for fashion, and less for function.

From a human standpoint, Humphrey has observed time and time again, clothing is a not only a way for individuals to express who they are but also a means for others to formulate an opinion about wearers. People choose their clothing and fashion choices using all sorts of criteria – aesthetically pleasing, flattering, fashionable, and sometimes for status, and sometimes to signify things like things gendered selves. Dogs, however, simply don’t care much about clothing, nor do they make connections between things like style, colour and gender. And yet people persist in dressing them up in ways that signify human things – not only in unnecessary items, but in unnecessarily decadent and expensive ones. 

Humphrey watches in horror as his guardian falls prey to this sort of fetishistic consumerism. She rationalizes: if Humphrey dog must wear a collar, why not make it a nice collar? Or coat. Or boots. How cute is a carrier in the iconic Coach op-art pattern? And it happens to match her own rain boots. And it’s even on sale! True rationality, in Humphrey’s view rarely prevails. Why won’t she take that money, and buy some nice jumbo lobster tails? Now that would be money well-spent. Lobster tails have much more use-value in the dog world than some cable-knit sweater.

Even the music industry is into licensing dog clothing. Humphrey prefers classics like The Who or Jimi Hendrix.

But consumer culture, pervasive in his life, is how Humphrey has found himself with an impressive (but largely useless) wardrobe. Nonetheless, he is happy to stay dry and warm on a day like today swathed in some great fashion.

Winter days

Humphrey was a little surprised to see that more snow fell today (thankfully it didn't last!). He hopes that spring will arrive soon.

A photo from the balcony during a recent snowfall

Humphrey looks and feels like a polar bear on this chilly night

Happy February 14!

Humphrey celebrates February 14 with a "high five" and a little help from Pixlr-O-Matic.

February 14 - so many things to celebrate, Humphrey has not yet decided which one. Of course, as a 30 Rock viewer and a critical feminist, he is inclined to share Liz Lemon's celebration of Anna Howard Shaw Day. Shaw, everyone surely knows, was a famous suffragette and without her, women might not be able to vote!

Then, there's Qwerty day on February 14, to commemorate the birth of Christopher Latham Sholes, inventor of the qwerty keyboard. Without it, would Humphrey even be able to express himself online?

February 14 is also the day that Finnegan the dog went to the great dog park in the sky - much more solemn a holiday, but nonetheless important in Humphrey's life.

What else???

Oh yes! The feast of St. Valentine, but Humphrey figures few people would bother to celebrate such a religious holiday in this day and age. Far too obscure for his readership.

Whatever people and dogs choose to celebrate, Humphrey hopes it's a nice day. And he sends a big holiday greeting out to Marbles and hopes to see that dude really soon. He finds this winter weather to be a drag on his play schedules.