Chandler Speaks!

 I mean, this is a little more Humphrey's vulnerable vibe, but I am hoping that Chandler will grow into this persona! I can't get enough of his puppy cuteness here.

Humphrey buys gifts (or, "Oh Consumerism, how I missed thee!"): A photo essay

While Humphrey tries to be a critical consumer, sometimes one just needs to shop! Especially after being cooped up indoors for four weeks with a cone of shame, only to emerge healthy, energetic, and with the weather in the throes of spring!

Lucky for Humphrey, he has various chauffeurs and companions to show him a good time. And with several pack-member birthdays forthcoming, he was successful in his ability to identify (and afford!) gifts that will express his appreciation to several pack members in financialized terms. Or in his words, "I love you $$*this*$$ much!"

Humphrey arrived at what appeared to be a very civilized outdoor shopping centre,
with an impressive, modernist outdoor sculpture. It took every ounce of self-restraint not to mark that thing!

The shopping centre was *mostly* civilized! Humphrey
shopped indoors in his Bendel carrier.
First stop: Kate Spade New York, with lovely wallpaper and
upholstery that were very much to Humphrey's liking.

Humphrey spotted these fine Kate Spade shoes, and spent a great deal of time staring at the
Boston terrier faces. Were they real animals? Toys? Who cares! They make a perfect gift!
That was his first purchase - and if the gift recipient didn't like them, well,
Humphrey was prepared to add them to his art collection. Or toy collection. Whatever.
Did he mention 80% off regular price? WOW!

Next stop was Cole Haan. Humphrey was actually dressed to match these
silhouette portraits of the label's founders!
(details below)

Humphrey left with a bag bigger than he is! The result: lovely boots for his grandmother's birthday gift.
He could not believe the price! Only $60 for a $400 pair in her size! Fingers crossed she likes them.
Humphrey's expression signals that by this point he was quite pleased with himself.
Notice the sporty stripes that match the Cole Haan portraits!

After much effort expended to find the perfect gifts, Humphrey needed some "me time."

And then you have to enjoy the last bit of your outing.

You know what the humans say (especially for a shopping trip like this one):

"If the shoe fits....."

(...buy it!)

Humphrey's epic April Fools 2019 prank!

How can a little dog get payback for the indignity of  having to wear a cone?  Can a little dog prank two Human beings with advanced educations? Read on and find out!

It didn't take long for Humphrey to hatch a plan for the dog prank of the century.

As readers know, Humphrey is subjected to 4 rounds of 5 eyedrops each day for his recent corneal mishap. After finishing the final drop, he is rewarded with a little portion of sugar-free, cherry Jello.

He tucked a little bit of that cherry Jello in his cone last night without any Human noticing.  Then, he went to his bed and subtly rolled around to spread the clandestine Jello around the base of his cone. Once he was satisfied with the result, he innocently approached his Human to have a look.

She thought he was bleeding profusely at the base of the cone! Ripping off the cone from Humphrey's neck in a panic, a strong cherry aroma filled the room. She didn't see any cut, and the staining didn't wash off. Humphrey giggled. And the 2 Humans realized they'd been outwitted by their little genius.

This will continue to terrify for weeks to come, since Jello dye is very permanent.

Happy April Fools, everyone!

The best kind of Marxism - you know, Harpo, Chico

Some say Humphrey resembles Harpo Marx doing an impression of his brother Groucho - you be the judge.

Or maybe just Groucho?

Walking around the neighborhood

Humphrey's pal Hudson the Westie was so fast that Humphrey couldn't get a photo in focus. Here is Hudson doing his best impression of a Mexican Jumping Bean 

Lovely landscaping - hostas and daisies

An impressive rose garden

Retro cool - a fez and a fake cigar makes Humphrey feel like a member of the rat pack

All aboard! A summer field trip

With Humphrey at the helm, this train can only be going to one destination: flavor town!

Rollin' on out of Shops at Don Mills

Still recycling!

Some habits die hard - Humphrey's commitment to the environment never waivers. A stop at this majestic container is now a part of his daily constitutional that he cannot resist.

Delightful!

At last, a very sunny day! If this expression doesn't exude pure delight, I don't know what does!

Summer's coming!

A look at the tail end of spring:

This walkway is called Witches' Walk

A favorite sniffing spot

New spring clothing for a very stylish boy 

Why are there Hs everywhere???

Seriously, everywhere!!!!

At last! Grass for tickling one's back and belly!

Humphrey is no stranger to urban agriculture!

#ThrowBackThursday

That time that Humphrey's incredible luck won him a professional photo shoot.

"This one's for them hood dogs": Dogs who rap in North York

Ready for some Uptown Humph? He's got his Chucks on with St. Laurent right here:

MC Jell-O might have fiddy reasons for you to listen to him spit rhymes like an ace:

B-Boy B-Lieve kicks it (very) old school:

Say his name, you know who he is! Humph busts rhymes broadway-style:

PSA: June is Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month - join the Pirate Challenge!

Yaarrr! Cap'n Humphrey challenges you to wear an eyepatch for a day to raise awareness for a rare, neuro-muscular disease called Myasthenia Gravis. Create your own pirate video, and tag your friends for a good cause.

You can learn more about the disease from the Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America, the Myasthenia Gravis Society of Canada, and the UK's Myaware. This video has NO affiliation to any of these groups! Pirate talk expressed in this video Cap'n Humphrey's own.

The Laundry Baller!

Humphrey is pleased to share yet another blockbuster trailer with his friends and family. He has, in a previous blog post, described his views on unpaid household labour. He continues to enjoy domestic tasks immensely, and excels at laundering just about anything. He is delighted to combine that personal interest with his new-found film production skills.

A Bone-Chilling, Humphrey Productions Summer Blockbuster

Coming this summer: Watch  Humphrey confront the most terrifying entity to all dogs in this bone-chilling horror movie. Featuring the Dogs of the Shepways: Humphrey, Nala, Joey, Bouche, and Believe.
(And for anyone concerned, those are NOT real candles and no dogs were put in any danger for the making of this film!)

Dog, not a dog? An existential crisis.

"People tell me I'm sweet, does that mean I'm a baked good?"
An entire breed of dogs have found themselves questioning their existence this month, thanks to the "Chihuahua or Muffin" meme making its way around the internet. "One is still what one is going to cease to be and already what one is going to become - does that mean I'm going to become a muffin?" asked Linda, a soulful-eyed Chihuahua aimlessly wandering Toronto's Bayview Village Mall. "I'm not going near that bakery, though."

Via @YMPhillips and @teenybiscuit on Twitter

W Network celebrity and canine Master of Flip Chubbs Wilson was recently weighed in on the controversy:

Dog is not the sum of what he has already, but rather the sum of what he does not yet have, of what he could have. Such as a muffin breakfast. Say, you're not going to eat that, are you, Kortney?

Name in the snow

Humphrey has heard of dogs writing their name in the snow, metaphorically - but look what he found last night in the first snow of the season!

He's grateful to his awesome neighbour with the tiny dog feet and excellent literacy skills who did this!

While he has not yet had time to fully engage in holiday decorations, Humphrey has achieved a very small start, and thought he's share some highlights as a prelude of what's to come...

A very flamboyant holiday parrot with rhinestone epaulets blings up the pottery collection 

Birds sitting a decorative garland with lights on the mantle

A new favorite ornament that will eventually take its place on the tree.
It reminds Humphrey of 1980s art sensation Jeff Koons.

The mantle (so far) with the holiday lights on. More to come!

CBC Frontline's Barking Mad!

CBC's Marketplace recently aired an episode titled Barking Mad (click to view)! How timely, given the healthcare debates currently happening worldwide!

Humphrey nodded his head in agreement on many points during the Marketplace episode - including the fury over dreaded dieting via prescription dog food!

Also interesting was the piece on heart worm. Since Humphrey (and many readers!) love statistics, he will share some. For instance, in Ontario alone, owners spend about $14.5 million on heart worm tests, which Frontline reports are largely un-necessary on an annual basis in Ontario where the risk is about 0.15% (not 15, but 0.15%!).

The vaccine issue, in dogs just like among people, is controversial. Humphrey enjoyed reading the comments at the bottom of the episode's home page.

So far, Humphrey's been extremely happy with his Toronto vet, Dr. Yearwood, who seems to take a minimalist approach to treatment that would confirm with the recommendations of this program. Humphrey has also had some relatively positive experiences with US veterinary specialists.

Humphrey wonders - are his readers satisfied with their medical care??? And how much are readers contributing to the pet economy???

CBC's infographic available here

Humphrey plays with his pal at the spa

Humphrey's been awfully busy - more posts to come soon! In the mean time, he wanted to share this little video of a "spa day" that included playing with his pal, Jello.

A Very Conjunctivitis Christmas: The Photo Essay and Modest Proposal for the Veterinary Industrial Complex

It all started in October...

"Humph, what's that on your eye?
Could it be a stye?
But then again, your lids are swelling -
What ever could it be telling?
Let me see your little head...
Oh my, your eyes look red."

After testing for lesions, glaucoma and tear production (twice each!), there seemed to be nothing obviously wrong! He was treated for conjuctivitis, then infection, and allergies.


Humphrey tried everything non-invasive! Conjunctivitis drops, allergy drops, cortesone drops.....

Everyone was stumped, including the vet and Humph's pack.

Hanukkah came and went, and there was no real change in Humph's eyes.

Humph made his way southwest along the 401 to get some answers, and had a scenic detour through Chatham when a strech of the highway was shut down.

He made his first trip abroad to see a specialist in Michigan! Obamadogcare meant a reasonaby-priced facility loaded with board-cerified veterinary dermatologists, opthamologists and more. Not to mention a fancy coffee bar on site. Wow. More tests to rule out mites, fungus and other things.
The diagnosis: idiopathic blepharitis. The treatment: Atopica, which the specialist described as "a special class of anti-inflammatory"...

Humphrey's guardian nearly hit the ceiling when she researched Atopica, which is the brand name for veterinary-grade cyclosporine. She learned it's not an anti-inflammatory, but an immuno-suppressant prescribed for lupus, organ transplants (anti-rejection) and severe cases of psoriasis in humans. And the side effects are frightening! Kidney damage! Vomiting! Increased suceptability to infection!

 

Meanwhile, Humphrey busied himself decorating the big Christmas tree...

...wrapping and guarding fabulous, shiny gifts for loved ones big and small...

...and of course applying his project management skills to the flawless execution of a Christmas meal.

It was a white Christmas after all!

Then came a Christmas miracle! With constant care and unfettered ocular hygeine and some cyclosporine, his condition improved a bit!



And the holiday ended with the entire pack together!

Humphrey also ended the holiday season with a modest proposal. The prescription of cyclosporine for what is essentially dermatitis of they eye (with no damaging consequences) seemed to him like killing an ant with a baseball bat.

Is it worth the increased risk of disease and cancer, the massive strain on the kidneys, and the high incidence of really bad side effects to alleviate a bit of itching that can be managed topically (in people, at least)? He began to wonder if the problem of veterninary clinics selling and dispensing (for profit!)  pharmaceuticals was a conflict of interst.

He considered the facts. There are about 21,000 pet-focused veterinary practices in the US alone according to the American Veterinary Medical Association. In the US, veterinary care spending increased by 40% between 2002 and 2007 – but the amount spent on pet drugs in that same timeframe increased by 52% (source: Fountain Agriculture). That amounts to about $3.5 billion dollars on pet (not agricultural!) medication in the US ! This figure does not include the additional, estimated $261 million in sales of over-the-counter, retail pet medication. No wonder Pfizer can count on pets for 40% of its revenue (as noted in a report from the Action Group on Erosion, Technology and Concentration).  Again, that represents pet products - not including those from agricultural animals. Among the choices in its product line are Slentrol (for canine anti-obesity treatment) and Anipryl (for canine dementia). Of course, they are (luckily) the makers of anti-depressant Zoloft, which guardians might need in light of the costs and heartache associated with companion animal illness!

Of course treating a case of blepharitis with over-the-counter allergy drops and thrice-daily washing is not so good for big pharma's bottom line, nor the revenues of veterinary practices.

Herein lies the modest proposal: would it be such a bad thing if veterinary practices were forbidden from the sale of retail pharmaceuticals? Would that result in better "informed consent" (such as letting the patient know about potential side-effects and accurately explaining that cyclosporine is a powerful immuno-suppressant, not at all "its own class of anti-inflammatory")?

It might be time to take a regulatory page from that of the human healthcare industry.

Happy holidays to all...and best wishes for a healthy and happy new year!

Humph's big day at glam Willowdale hotspot, Bayview Village.

"Well behaved women rarely make history."
Thank you Humphrey!