Dogs and Drugs

Humphrey's course of meds - one hopes they will provide him with a bit of recreational value.

Humphrey had to get more anti-inflammatory medication for his knee, and also antibiotics for a small cyst at the site of a prior insect bite. Looking at all the packaging reminded Humphrey of his favorite corporate person, Prescott Pharmaceuticals ("the tingling tells you it's working, the class action lawsuit tells you it's Prescott").

The American Pet Products Manufacturers Association (APPMA) proudly boasts that in 2007, American pet owners spent $ 41.2 billion on their animals, up 7 per cent from the previous year. Quite astoundingly, during the 2008 financial meltdown, food and pet supplies were the only two categories out of 17 that showed significant spending increases (WSL Strategic Research Survey). Perhaps this comes as no surprise to any of the Willowdale Dogs, who will confirm that their guardians would definitely reduce spending on themselves to make sure the dogs have what they need, as did 52% of pet owners in the APPMA survey.

As readers well know, Willowdale guardians have a knack for outfitting their dogs in finery – cashmere, rhinestones, merino wool, all things Coach. But regardless of where a dog lives or how much bling she has, healthcare is an important canine expenditure. There are about 21,000 pet-focused veterinary practices in the United States alone (American Veterinary Medical Association). In the US, veterinary care spending increased by 40% between 2002 and 2007 – but the amount spent on pet drugs in that same timeframe increased by 52% (Fountain Agriculture). That amounts to about $3.5 billion dollars on pet (not agricultural!) medication in the US alone! This figure does not include the additional, estimated $261 million in sales of over-the-counter, retail pet medication. No wonder Pfizer can count on pets for 40% of its revenue (as noted in a report from the Action Group on Erosion, Technology and Concentration).  That's pet products - not including those from agricultural animals. Among the choices in its product line are Slentrol (for canine anti-obesity treatment) and Anipryl (for canine dementia). Of course, they are (luckily) the makers of anti-depressant Zoloft, which guardians might need in light of the costs and heartache associated with companion animal illness!

Side effects include: rectal dyslexia, involuntary narnia adventures, vein seizures, bearded thalamus, abdominal salad shooters, argyle pattern baldness, autonomous nipple syndrome, braintooth, eyearrhea, fallopian tapeworm, abdominal migration, and jimmy crack corneas. In rare cases, severe side effects may include: lou ferrignose and increased risk of vampire attack. (These, of course, are only side effects of various Prescott Pharmaceuticals products).

An interesting aside:

The cost of pet veterinary services is highest in Ontario, 22% higher thanthe national average when all costs are weighted and indexed. Procedures doneon pets (as opposed to, say, check-ups) account for about 75% of veterinaryhospital revenues.