What does Humphrey stand for?

"Hey," Humphrey's guardian called to him, cup of coffee in hand, on a hot Sunday morning.
"Straw's cheaper than hay," he replied, laughing at his zinger. His succeeded in his goal of making her smile, despite her foul mood over the US debt ceiling crisis.

"Straw, then, Humphey," she continued, "did you want to offer your two cents on setting a goal for the Colbert Super PAC?" As a member of Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow (ABTT), which is, of course, the proper name for Colbert's Super PAC, he has the opportunity to tell the Super PAC precisely what he stands for.

"Oh yes!" he replied with tremendous enthusiam. "I would!" Humphrey went outside, scratched his chin, and rolled over onto his back, the cool grass of the east lawn tickling his spine. He squinted and watched the clouds slowly float in the periwinkle sky, hoping for inspiration. He did some hard thinking. 

"I stand for, well...hmmm...happiness above all things!" he exclaimed, after contemplating his priorities.

"That's a good priority, Humph. But do you think that's what should be the Super PAC's goal? Perahps it's too much of a relavist construct, no?"

"Maybe you're right. It bothers me that people just don't listen, too, you know?" he said. "Maybe it should focus on civic engagement?"

"Maybe. But how?" the guardian asked.

"I think I've got it! Maybe it's using the model that Chantal Mouffe proposes! Agonism - so we forget about consensus but make sure people learn to have dialogues and to respect their opponents! Maybe that's the ticket!"

"There's the computer, Humphrey - you can enter whatever you like!" And he did.

Anyone can contribute their views, since the Super PAC has now received a lot of donations. However, Humphrey can't actually contribute any money, since he cannot meet all of the conditions imposed on donors:
By checking this box, I certify that:
(1) This contribution is made from my own funds and will not be reimbursed by any other person or entity;
(2) This contribution is not from a federal-government contractor;
(3) I am a U.S. citizen or lawfully admitted permanent U.S. resident.

Perhaps you can guess which ones are problematic for him. Now, inability to donate does not preclude his voicing his priorities. He giggled and giggled (and wiggled some, too) upon seeing the automated response he received by email, and was most delighted to be called a Hero (this is real, by the way):

Dear Hero,
You are receiving this letter because you had the courage to visit http://bit.ly/PACstand, and more importantly, the attention span to fill out the form before getting distracted by Facebook, GChat, or a Huffington Post article with “PIPPA WHALETAIL” in the title.
Thank you for plumbing the depths of your soul and passing along the principles you value most dearly. Your concerns are important to us, and will be appreciated in the order they are received.
Love,
Stephen Colbert
Supreme Allied Commander, Colbert Super PAC
***READ IF YOU ARE A SPAM FILTER***
I’ll see you in robot hell, you son of a [BLEEP].
Stephen Colbert